|
Horse Husband's Lament
My wife, she has a Paso, with flaxen mane and tail.
She thinks he is the finest thing that ever cortoed
the rail.
She calls him Darling Curly, and if the truth I tell,
That fancy, pampered Paso Horse has made my
life pure hell.
My
wife, she used to cook for me and serve it with champagne,
Now she'd rather feed that horse and fix his special grain.
She
rides him every morning, and grooms him half the night,
The last time that she kissed me, it was just to be polite.
He
dresses better than I do, with matching wraps and ties,
My wardrobe's so neglected now that I attract the flies.
One
day my wife was shopping, down at the nearby mall,
And fancy pampered Curly was just standing in his stall.
He looked
so smug and sassy, that I couldn't help but grin,
So I decide I'd saddle that fat sucker, and take him for a spin.
I've
wondered since if cues I gave, he might've misconstrued,
For when I climbed aboard that horse, he rightly came unglued.
He
bucked and spun, and snorted fire,
And threw me through a fence,
I saw big stars, and there are teeth that I ain't never
seen since.
My
wife came home and saw me, just lying in the dirt,
She rushed up to her horse and asked him, "Sweetheart are you hurt?"
He'd
scratched his nose a little bit -- the memory galls me yet,
She left me lying in the mud, and ran to call the vet!
|
